The Buzzed Boat: when Arthur met Arthur

 

A play in one Act.

Scene: Arthur Rimbaud and Arthur Miller are in the middle of Lake Titicaca fishing
back to back on a boat.

Miller: Hey Rimbaud I was thinking that Marilyn and I should call it
quits.

Rimbaud: What? Are you mad? She’s a right piece, man.

Miller: Yea I guess I am mad, I feel like a total “Loman”
right about now.

Rimbaud: [talking quietly to himself] what is this? [spotting
a bottle with green liquid and begins to take a swig
] NIIIICE.

Miller: I was also thinking about this Senator McCarthy guy and the
fact that he’s a complete putz and I came up with this play about some
witches getting…

Rimbaud: [interrupting] Woa man this absinth is starting to kick
in, I’m sooo feeling it now man.

Miller: Umm, that’s some green kool-aid I made for the fishing
trip, Rimby. Like I was saying about this play, I was thinking about setting
it in Sale…

Rimbaud: [interrupting again] I am sooo drunk now. Me in a boat,
with the waves, drunk, I am on to something here…

Miller: are you listening to a word I’m saying?

Rimbaud: oh no, I think this fishing trip was a bad Idea I have to write
my mom at once [takes out a pen and paper and begins to write] My dearest Mother,
I think this Arthur Miller guy is trying to get me drunk…

Miller: would you stop that? Geesh. Can’t we have a peaceful time
here and fish without you writing complaints to your mom?

Rimbaud: [still writing] I think he is on to me. I must stop
writing or he will punish me again or row this boat off a cliff.

Miller: That’s it! This is why Verlaine tried to kill you. [Miller
throws his pole, jumps in to the water and swims to shore leaving Rimbaud by
himself
] God, why did I bother taking him along?

Rimbaud: [laying on his back in the boat hugging the bottle of green
liquid
] Me, drunk in a boat. Drunk in a boat… Drunken boat I’m
in…

Eeeennnnnd Scene…