He owned his own peice of land and he kept it in his pocket.

I cannot convey in words what a genius Woody Allen is. Well since when it really comes down to it, me being able to convey anything in words always end in confusion, anger and failure. Besides, who really reads my crap anyhow? I really shouldn’t throw pearls to swine or in my case I wouldn’t call it pearls, more like pebbles and swine kinda dig pebbles anyway, what was I saying. Oh yea, I find it all the more harder to convey this: Woody Allen is a genius.

Woody Allen, to me, is like all the Marx Brothers rolled into one. The Fast paced, witty dialogue makes me laugh out loud with the occasional spit take, of course. Reading his books will supply the same results. Way back when I was taking the trains to go to work into the NYC I would constantly go through books like there is no tomorrow, luckily there was many tomorrows, I hope many more. One book in particular had me going back to it over and over again: The Complete Prose of Woody Allen. This book is the Collection of three of his books, Without Feathers, Getting Even, and Side Effects.

If you’ve ever taken a train to work you would know that commuters are a stickler for quiet. When I read this book I would break out in fits of laughter but without the fits really. It got to the point when people would see me come into the train I would here Tsk, maybe it was what I was wearing at the time who know, but I’m sure they were annoyed when I sat behind them. Who really want to hear laughter in the morning, right?

One of my Fave chapter is “Fabulous Tales and Mythical Beasts”, With a beast like The Nurk, a 2 inches bird with the power of speech but keeps referring itself in the third person, like “he’s a great little bird, isn’t he”? Another is the Great Roe with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.

Every time I read this book, I’m reading as if Woody was speaking it, so it became all the more entertaining. Another author comes to mind, David Sedaris. When I read his books I do the same, since I know what he sounds like because of NPR and he’s pretty damn funny himself.

So if you are ever In Strand I suggest you look for The Complete Prose of Woody Allen, or if you cant find that look for Without Feathers, Getting Even, and Side Effects. Or click on the Links and buy them at Amazon.

I think I’m done now you may go back to doing what you where doing before I wasted your time with this crap.