Ask Lounge: Socks

Our recent question comes from Michael over at Pretentious .

Why are socks black? Does it depend on the color of ones soul?

Michael,
Recent studies have shown that there is a direct correlation with one’s soul and the color of their socks. For instance I was known to constantly wear white tube socks for any occasion be it black tie events or even swimming (I love the sloshing sound of wet socks). Note: wearing your sneakers after swimming with tube socks and walking a few miles in the heat of August is a bad idea. But I digress. After many years my soul was slowly being crushed by the weight of the world and the socks I purchased were becoming darker and darker until they can no longer get any darker. So I can say: Yes to part two of your question.
As far as part one, I am unsure of what kind of socks you talking about. The black socks I purchase are black tube socks. The other type of black socks I know of are what I used to refer to as “party socks”. Reason being is that, were I grew up, men would only wear them to church or parties. It is a thin, nylon type of sock made of some poly-vinyl blend rendering the feet to be un-breathable creating the worst smell after a full day of wearing them in a leather shoe. As far as I’m concerned this is the worst of the black sock spectrum since these socks are usually worn by suits on a daily basis.
There you have it. Remember socks are your feet’s friend, don’t underestimate them.