Me spell bad

Kell Bell: I’m off tomorrow so I’ll have a nice dinner waiting for you when you come home.
Kell Bell: How’s that?
lugolounge:
Kell Bell: I’ll rub your feet.
Kell Bell:
lugolounge: what is the ocation
Kell Bell: occasion or location?
lugolounge: occasion
lugolounge: me spellin bad
Kell Bell: wow, that was really bad.
I think my girlfriend wants to break up with me, not for infidelity but for that fact that I cannot spell my way out of a wet paper bag. Ok so the last sentence was an exaggeration but the fact that I suck at spelling anything in the English language, much less in any other language, is true. I’ve been living with this painful secret for many years and now I have to come clean.
In grammar school, my most dreaded moments were the spelling bees, grade school children standing militarily in two lines facing each other and take turns spelling words. You would usually spot me, the chubby kid, looking down, sweating like mad, hoping to gord that they would give me a word like “bubble” or “train” ( I was typing “knapsack” but I spelled it “napsack”). 8 out of 10 times I would be the one who would go first.
I’ve known of my affliction for many, many years and I don’t know how I can change this. I, for some reason, try to spell words phonetically (had a tough time spelling that one) but it’s always wrong, I guess I just don’t think like that.