Vacation’s a Bitch


sunset, from the Key West Photo set

Originally uploaded by LugoLounge.

She handed back my boarding pass and license and said, “Your license is expired, can’t let you in”. With My eyes wide open I examined my license and noticed it expired 4 days ago, “WHAT??!!”, came out of my mouth. “But, but, but what do I do now, I don’t have any other ID. I need to leave now, you don’t understand I need a vacation and this is my only chance”. She then said “go to information, they will help you”. I ran down the hall and found Information he reprinted my boarding pass and the only difference was 4 “S” along the bottom. I ran back and asked “is this good?” She said ”Yes it is”.

A smile crossed my lips as I placed my bags on the conveyor belt, but the smile turned upside down when some TSA agents grabbed my bags and myself and said, “Will you come with us?” Ahh. What the hell is going on, I thought to myself. I really don’t need this. They sat me down in front of a table and I watched as this big guy tore through my stuff, manhandling my personal belongings, pulling out my keys and examining my key drive as if he’s never seen one, visions of man’s first vision of fire crossed my mind. He grunted “waz thiz?” “A Key drive, you plug it into a computer.” I said. “Oh OK” They then asked me to stand and take off my belt and shoes; I thought I was going to have to pull my pants down. They extensively glided a metal detector around me over and over again. They handed me back my boarding pass my license, my shoes and my belt. I shuffled back to meet up with J and T, who were waiting at the bar, still holding on to my belt and holding up my pants. I ordered a screwdriver and my vacation officially started.