Ask Lounge: Jade Monkey

The Jade Monkey

Originally uploaded by LugoLounge™.

Dear Lounge,
Me again, but this time on a more pressing matter. There has been much talk regarding the Jade Monkey. While anyone can get A Jade Monkey on eBay or in Chinatown, can you shed more light on the original Jade Monkey?
Drinking Responsibly,
PS. Can you also highlight to your readers the differences between “monkey love” as opposed to “Christian love”?

Well Michael, you are correct in the fact that anyone can amble on down to Chinatown and pick up A Jade Monkey but they won’t find THE jade monkey. The original Jade monkey is shrouded in mystery. One theory was that the Jade monkey was created when Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris were filming the final scenes of “Way of the Dragon”. The sheer force of the two Powers made a small Kitten explode and what was left, after the dust cleared, was a large piece of jade in the form of a monkey. This Jade monkey was in fact bigger then the kitten, poor little bastard.
It is said that the Jade monkey gave Bruce and Chuck the Omnipotent power of the gods and will also give those who hold it the same powers, hence their reason to hide the object, somewhere in the Amazonian Jungle from those who would abuse it’s powers.


As far as monkey love Vs. Christian love; my opinion lies with monkey love being wild crazy love making as opposed to Love Monkey : A Novel or even Love Monkey the TV show based on the book which stars that guy from Ed who plays a record exec who is “all about the music”. Haven’t seen it and actually would like to see if it wasn’t on CBS and if I didn’t stop watching TV. But I digress, as usual. Christian love would be not so wild sex with a televangelist who likes to get beaten.
There’s that
Constantly in an alcoholic haze,