Aluminium/aluminum

This is a repost from 2006. I know i know lazy but this is to jumpstart the Ask Lounge section.

 

Dear Lounge,
Me again. This time my marriage is on the rocks and you’re probably the only person who can help… thats not true… but I’m writing this anyway. My wife says that the correct spelling for Aluminium is actually Aluminum. She has the gall to also pronounce it this way and refuses to see the error of her ways. She needs to get with the program, even the explanation in Wikipedia clearly in my favor will not sway her. I’ve tried talking sense to her, but what can I saw. She acted the same way when I told her about the Monkeys and how other people wrote their songs.
Damn monkeys.
Talk sense. Settle this once and for all.
Michael


Dear Michael,
I would first like to point out that the real reason your marriage is on the rocks is not because the Aluminium/aluminum debacle. It’s because she is truly in love with me. Yes it’s true because she told me, but I digress. Now let’s get back to the subject at hand. According to Microsoft word Aluminium is the wrong spelling and as we all know everyone relies on Microsoft to tell them that Aluminium is not correct. I for one like to pronouns that word ALUMINIUM because I want to sound smarter than the people around me. Now say it with me AL-LU-MIN-IUM, there now do you feel smarter. This reminds me of my younger brother who goes out of his way to throw in a new word he found on the internet that day (i.e.: “My, that was a facetious remark.”). Again with the digression.
Anyway, I think you are bringing up this old debate of Aluminium proportion, because you want to look smarter than your wife. I for one cannot say you are the smart one because you think “monkeys” is the correct spelling for the band when in fact it is “the Monkees”. Shame on you Michael, shame. Isn’t Davey Jones One of your people; Funny talking, British Empire types? Oh yeah and you are correct about other people writing the Monkees tunes, well most of them.
Always in a state of intoxication
Lounge.